A dumbo's guide: create e-books (epub and mobi) from .doc files for free

Okay, so this is not entirely an opinion piece, but I cannot let it go without having a say, can I? Contrary to what most people think, the e-book scene out there is a wild jungle. It's also terribly fragmented, and is changing rapidly. That's not surprising as e-books are still new and evolving, except for the pdf format which has been with us for a long time. But the problem with it is that it is formatted page-by-page and so the text doesn't flow continuously, and does not take different page sizes without making it impossible to read. Mobi and Epub formats, are more tolerant of page-size variations, but images must be anchored to the text for them to appear at approximately the right positions.

Still, making your own e-books is a good way for giving away, sharing or selling (yes, you read that right) that book you have just completed for absolutely free. You read that right, too! You can send it to anyone with a mobile phone, tablet or a Kindle. Distribution, too, is free if you send it as an email attachment. Anyway, there are many online marketing tools out there. Google it, or ask a friend. But, here's what you will need for now.

1. The masterpiece you have written in Word format. (Other word-processing programs should work as well.)
2. Download Calibre and install it. It is an open-source program, and is free, which means it's available for OSX, Windows and Linux.
3. Download Sigil and install it. It is also open-source and free, and available for Windows and Mac. This program will allow you to tweak the format of the EPUB to make it look nicer before you send it out.
(Added information: Apple uses EPUB, Amazon uses MOBI, and they don't talk to one another.)

Step One: Save your Word file as .rtf (Rich Text Format). (You can also save it as a HTML (HyperText Markup Language) file, used for creating web pages and other information that can be displayed in a web browser. But, if you're a non-geek and this freaks you out, don't have to take this route. On the other hand, if you're a geek already, go on ahead; you don't need this primer.)

Step Two: Open Calibre. (The image shows what it would look like with all the books you have added. If you have not added any, you'll only see the Calibre Quick Start Guide.)

Step Three: Add the newly created .rtf file by either using the 'Add' option (top right) or drag-and-drop the file into the white space.

Step Four: Edit metadata (no need to freak out now). Highlight the newly imported file, and click the second from left button. Here, you can add the author's name, year of publication, publisher, and anything else you want (or ignore it all, if you don't.) Click OK.

Step Five: With the new file still highlighted, click the third button. This is where the magic happens. Like it says, it will convert your book. The source type (RTF) will show on the top right. Select the destination type (EPUB) on the top left pull-down. Click 'OK' and viola! (You will see a revolving wheel at the bottom left, and how long it will take will depend on the size of the file -- very quick, at any rate.)

Step Six: (Sorry, not over yet.) Click 'Save file', third from right on top, and choose your destination, wherever you like. Your EPUB is done (almost). Click 'View' (fourth from left) to see what it looks like. If you like what you see, it's done. If the format looks like a dog's breakfast, and that you can introduce more spaces, or align-centre, etc., go to the next step.

Step Seven: Launch Sigil, open the EPUB file you created above, and do some minor formatting to make it look better. It is quite intuitive, not unlike a basic word-processor. Save and close after you're done. (No matter how hard you try, you will not get it to look like a book published on paper -- not with current technology anyway -- unless you go the pdf route.)

Step Eight: Add the new EPUB file to your Calibre library, (I suggest you delete the old one to avoid confusion), highlight it, and convert to MOBI just like the process above. You can read the .mobi file in Calibre too, by highlighting it and clicking 'View'.

Now, enjoy! You can sell it, give it away, upload it on Amazon (Google for instructions and rules) and Apple iPad (ditto). Don't pay any money to those sharks who convert e-books for a fee, unless you want to go professional. That's another story. This is for fun.

(Note about e-book formats: if you want to mess with your mind, visit the following Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_e-book_formats)

Book snobs

When someone said (this was sometime ago) about one of our products, she didn't think Silverfish published 'that kind of book', we were gob-smacked. Our first reaction was, "What, what, what?!" as if we had been caught with our pant-zipper down. We were certainly confused. After we calmed, we asked ourselves, "Why did she think we wouldn't publish this?" It was quite obvious that she thought we were a bunch of snobs, but what kind?! It was important to ensure that one stood accused of the right type of snobbery. Then, we laughed.

We have met many types of book snobs in the fourteen years we have been open. Some will come into the shop and declare loudly (as if it makes a difference to us) that they don't read Malaysian books (oh dear), or only read business and management, or self-help, or non-fiction, implying that everything they don't read could be classified as rubbish. One friend even came in and declared that she only read thrash! I love her!

Anyway, going back to the title that upset the madam so much, it was a book of short stories by one author. Nothing embarrassing about that. The stories were anecdotal, but told with plenty of humour. Was humour the problem, then? In all the years we have been reading manuscripts, it is interesting to note that humour is an ingredient that is glaringly missing from Malaysian writing. Strange, isn't it? Yes, we have satirical cartoons and jokes. We love to tell Irish jokes with local minorities featured as characters, not to mention local political ones, but, as a people, we appear to have completely lost our ability to laugh at ourselves. We can laugh at others, but not ourselves. How many Malaysian writers would we regard as funny? Well, Chua Kok Yee is one, although some have remarked, "Aiyoh, why he write like that, one?" completely missing his humour. You know the Hokkien word, "Siow?" That's what Kok Yee is!

But, we have reason to believe what madam really meant was, "It is not literary." Again, "What, what, what?!"

Okay, let's go back a little in history. 'Literary' was a label publishers stuck on books that they otherwise couldn't sell (or as a reaction against Faber which had establishing itself a notch above the rest, at the time). It was, we believe, a trend that started in the late seventies, or thereabouts, and reinforced by the Booker (and other) prizes. It was generally considered to be language driven, as opposed to plot. They came to imply good prose (that beautiful turn of phrase), a slice of life, a pithy statement about the human condition, all told subtly in an understated tale. I was a snob, and I wouldn't read anything else, in the late nineties and the early naughties. To quote my favourite minstrel: 'I was so much older then, but I'm younger than that now'. 

In the last thirty years, Anglophone 'literary' titles have become mere products, another commodity, albeit one with very little appeal amongst most readers (except 'snobs'). General readers have largely abandoned them in droves for sci-fi, fantasy, horror, crime (marginally still acceptable to the L-types), thrillers, chicklit, soft porn, romance, etc, etc, where the money is. Literary books, on the other hand, have increasingly been regarded as boring. Sure, there are many that are still good, but their authors tend to be older, or the usual suspects. Unfortunately, several (including prize-winning ones) appear to be nothing more than exercises in self-gratification. Still, these are products that keep publishing houses looking respectable while they make their money elsewhere (even when they are run by CEOs who publicly -- and infamously -- declare that they do not read). An Arab-American author I met recently said that Fifty Shades was paying for her book! She would not have been published otherwise. (Someone in the industry recently proposed a new 'literary' genre. What? To drive more people away?)

Anyway, this is how we choose books to publish at Silverfish. First, there must be an interesting story, whatever the genre, solidly structured, well argued within its own internal logic, and told with empathy from the points of view of all characters. If you preach, we will reject your work. (We will also reject books on self-help, business & management, academic & text, and teenage angst (no matter how old the writers) with or without an honest reason.) Second, adequate language to convey the meaning of the story. If language skills are better, they should enhance the storytelling and the reader experience, but never stand in the way of comprehension, or shout, "Look at me, look at me. See how clever I am!" Please bear in mind that poor language skills can be fixed; a poor story cannot. (Ironically, the simpler it is, the harder it is to write.) Third, we like writers who do not have a problem with working hard, and are not unwilling to rewrite. (We can suss them out fairly quickly.) And fourth, we like writers who make a difference, who are not afraid to push boundaries, who research their work well, and who are honest.

Yes, the madam was right. We are snobs indeed, but we don't apologise for being interested only in the best of Malaysian literature.

Obsessed with fame

I have always defended young people against criticisms by the old, who accuse them of being lazy, entitled, selfish and shallow. "My customers are mostly young," I protest, "and they read widely." Unfortunately, a recent study appears to show that they may be right, at least with regards to those born in the 1990s. Time magazine calls them the Me Me Me Generation, an entire generation obsessed with themselves and their fake Facebook/Twitter persona. (According to the National Institutes of Health in the US, 58% more college students scored higher on a narcissism scale in 2009 than in 1982.)

I came across two more interesting stories.

The Marshmallow experiment

First from Wikipedia. In an experiment at the Bing Nursery School at Stanford University in the 1960s by psychologist Walter Mischel, children age four to six (over 600 took part) were led into a room and offered the choice of having one small reward (like a marshmallow) immediately, or two if they waited 15 mins. So the children sat looking at their treat after the researcher left the room. Many gave in to temptation very quickly, others took a while and a few managed to get their two treats.

In the follow-up of the experiment, researchers checking in on these same students in high school, found that those with more self-control were better behaved, less prone to addiction, and scored higher on the SAT. (Was it pure self-control or strategic thinking by the nasty little buggers?)

Walter Mischel had run a similar experiment in Trinidad a decade earlier with different ethnic groups of contrasting stereotypes. 53 children in a rural area were given the choice of a 1-cent candy immediately or a better 10-cent one in a week’s time. Mischel reported significant differences due to ethnicity, age, and the absence of a father in the family. Socio-economics didn’t seem to matter. Intact families did.

To many people it would be a no-brainer that self-control leads to productivity and success. Would you rather do the more tempting ‘lepak at the mamak’ every night with friends or work on your novel? Who is more likely to succeed in whatever they choose to do? “I have no time,” is something you’d hear often from those who’d rather waste theirs on phone calls, texting, Facebook, Twitter or whatever (not that they’d see it that way). Jocelyn K. Glei, Editor-in-Chief and Director of 99U, thinks Facebook is the new marshmallow.

G is for Grit

Second, I watched a Youtube video by Angela Lee Duckworth on TED talks, which Jade recommended, on a research she is currently undertaking with children to understand the ingredients of success. Duckworth found  that while self-control was an excellent predictor of ones ability to follow through on some types of difficult tasks, it was not the most important factor when predicting success. She was suspicious of 'talent' and 'intelligence' too. Duckworth research boiled it all down to one essential ingredient she calls 'grit' or “the perseverance and passion for a long-term goal”. Grit is single-mindedness, unwavering dedication, whatever the obstacles, no matter how long it takes.

The media largely attributed Obama's victory in the 2012 elections to the use of social media, particularly Facebook, Twitter and texting. Media has always liked hype because it's sexy and it sells. But reality is quite different. US News says: In a memo released just before Election Day, the Obama campaign claimed it had contacted one out of every 2.5 people in the country since the 2008 election, much of it through personal phone calls or knocking on doors. That number is far and above the 50 million voter contacts the Romney campaign has cited. "The best data for us was things we collected at the doors," Obama campaign manager Jim Messina said. Additionally, Obama.org says that 10,000 volunteers knocked on 7 million doors on the day before the election. Now, that's grit.

And the moral of the story? One might be self-righteously indignant, or even right, but if the message is not sent out, you drop the ball. The urban middle-class can whip themselves up into a frenzy on Facebook, Twitter and other social media where broadband is ubiquitous, but in the rural areas it is done the old fashioned way -- at coffee shops, weddings, births, deaths, circumcisions, thanksgiving religious ceremonies, prayer meetings, kenduris, etc., where any politician worth his salt shows up and becomes part of the community. There is nothing like a real connection. A friend, an expatriate, sent me a photo of a kampong about three weeks before the last elections. It looked like the entire village had been gift-wrapped in blue. Even a cockroach wouldn't have been able to penetrate that fortress if it was not wearing blue. One look at the photograph and I realised that the game was up. I guessed rightly who was going to win this one, whatever the hype.

Nobody like to lose. Supporters of the losing team in football will accuse the referees of bias and/or incompetence, accuse the opponents of 'not playing the ball', and claim they were unfairly denied a penalty. A neutral observer might sympathise with the last if the difference was one goal. What if it is 44? 45 penalties? Can anyone score from every one of them? Or were you simply not prepared, being caught up in the social network hype, and didn't train hard enough?

Did you drop the ball?

Why I don't own a mobile phone

 
I hope this clarifies the question once and for all, though it probably will not. I'm the one without the mobile phone, but my friends, for some reason, are the ones who feel the pain. Some have been on a virtual crusade, with the evangelical zeal of Jehovah Witnesses, to 'save' the recalcitrant non-believer. Others take delight in saying, "I told you so," at the slightest inconvenience arising from my 'stubbornness'.

Truth is, stubbornness has nothing to do with it. I simply value my time and sanity more than others do, I guess. I did own a mobile phone some twelve years ago, but then someone did me a favour by stealing it. I have never been more thankful since.

First, a quantitative analysis. To say that the mobile phone is a 'bloody waste of time' would be an understatement. Let's assume that one makes five phone calls a day, and receives another five. If each call takes ten minutes, that would result in 100 minutes a day spent talking on that stupid instrument. Do I have one hour and forty minutes to waste everyday? What do you think? No, I don't play golf, either. What if each call takes 15 minutes? 20, 25, 30 minutes? (I know of people who can talk for up to an hour each time!) You have a calculator? Figure it out. I think my time and my life is far more important than that. Furthermore, I think it should be made a criminal offense to talk more than one minute on the phone during any call, and waste other people's time. A mandatory death sentence should do it.

Next, a qualitative assessment. It's eight thirty in the morning and I'm in the toilet, doing whatever it is that people do in toilets. The phone rings in the bedroom. Ring! Ring! Pick me up, pick me up! Right now, you moron! Right now! I ignore it, but it has already annoyed me. Then it stops. Thank God, I think. Then, a minute later it starts again. Same thing. Ring! Ring! Pick me up, pick me up! Right now, you moron! "Damn it," I swear, hurry up, wrap a towel around my waist and go out. "Has someone died?" I want to scream into the phone, but I know I will not, because I don't want a divorce, and I'm not that badly brought up, although sometimes I wish I was. Besides, if someone was already dead, it wouldn't be urgent, would it? Anyway, I'm sure the call is not be important, and it isn't. (99% of all calls are not important, in my estimate.)

The mobile phone is the new ball and chain, the electronic ankle bracelet. It is the new dog collar of management. We had a temp called Mohan one time; a delightful young man with some other qualities as well. One day he came to work with a brand new mobile phone. (He didn't have any before.) "My girlfriend bought it for me," he explained sheepishly. "Hahaha! You're dead, man! Your girlfriend has just put a dog collar around your neck." "I know," he admitted, with even less enthusiasm.

Bosses like their employees in dog collars. No matter how shiny they are, how many games you can play on them, or videos you can watch, and no matter what else it can do with them, they are nothing more than dog collars, man. If your boss wants to unload a monkey onto your shoulders at 2 o'clock in the morning, or whenever, you're 'it' man! That's what mobiles phones are for. Passing monkeys. Slightest problem? Scroll down the 'contacts' list and look for someone to unload it on. Bosses, friends, relatives: they all do it. "It's their problem, now. I've done my job." Have they? What do you do when someone unloads a monkey on you? Scroll down name list and pass in on as quickly as you can. And on, and on, and on in an endless game of shirking responsibility.

As for me, I'm not playing that game anymore. Send me an email. I strongly believe that the email is a most civilised form of communication. It allows the recipient to respond in good time without being impolite, giving the person sufficient space to think of a reply. That's why I hate it when some insist I speak to them on the phone about their manuscripts, and call my staff all sorts of names when they can't.  Look, send me your manuscripts by email, okay? I'll will read it (promise) and reply. If it's suitable, I'll say yes. If not, I'll say it's not suitable for our list. No amount of snake-oil salesmanship over the phone (or in person) is going to make me change my mind. It will only annoy me and take me off the work I'm focusing. (Note to writers: do yourself a favour by not annoying potential publishers.)

Yes, I'm focused when I work. Like hell, I do. In fact, I get so zoned out when I'm doing something, that I jump when the  phone rings. There's nothing worse than a telephone call to interrupt a creative thought process. Now, double that with the annoying sales pitch from the other end and my endless struggle to remain polite. Triple that for time required for recovery and getting back to work, usually 20 minutes. Now, calculate the amount of productive time wasted.

Multitasking? I don't believe that's even possible. (Sorry, fire-fighting is not multitasking. It's only one task -- passing monkeys around. See above.) I like to do only one thing at a time and give it all. (But that doesn't mean I cannot work on five different projects simultaneously -- when I'm on one, the others don't remain in my head; I have an on/off that works.)

Okay, a confession: I was tempted like hell when the iPhone first came out, because I am a gadget junkie, and have been an Apple user since the late seventies. But, was it something I wanted? If truth be told, I was quite disappointed with my favourite tech company. It was like the time when Bobby McFerrin sold out and went commercial with Don't Worry Be Happy, and all the plebeians lapped it up, having never heard of his Blue Note records.

I now have an iPod Touch, which is really an iPhone without the phone. Problem solved.