Banned books - the saga continues

It was another routine stock replenishment order. Then came the shock: the distributor is unable to supply copies of Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children because the book had been 'restricted' in Malaysia by the KDN.

Our initial reaction was to laugh out loud. Who are these people? Midnight's Children, published in 1980, won the Booker in 1981 and won the Booker of Bookers in 1993. Every self-respecting reader in the country has not only read the book, but owns a special sentimental copy. Now, after 26 years, some barely literate little Napoleon - to borrow Pak Lah's term - sitting behind a KDN desk in Johor Bahru has decided that the book is not suitable for Malaysians.

We spoke to the distributor of this title. He confirmed that all Salman Rushdie books are now getting the 'treatment'. He related how he tried to ship in the hardback edition of Shalimar the Clown, and was told that it was 'restricted'. He didn't argue. He says he never argues, because he wants the rest of the shipment to go through. This is how all Malaysian (and Singaporean) shippers are treated. If they decide to argue, every single one of the hundred odd boxes will be detained for 'further inspection', if not ripped open right there on the tarmac. If a complaint is made 'further up', this treatment can be expected for every subsequent shipment. It is not surprising then that distributors prefer to suffer in silence, while we readers live in Coetzee's Disgrace, where victimising victims and shooting messangers is a national culture.

(I want to tell you an interesting story here. This was some years ago, during the Khalil Gibran incident, when I was young and foolish enough to think that I could clear books from KLIA on my own without an agent. The book was Sex, Scotch and Scholarship by Kushwant Singh. It was quite obvious that the woman in charge recognised at least one of the 's' words. She kept turning the book over and over, flipping through the pages, peering at the written words as if trying to find something - I suppose, incriminating. Faris and I watched, quite amused. Finally she returned the book to the box. "Too many words," Faris said.)

Anyway coming back to the distributor, some weeks later he tried to import another bunch of books with the paperback edition of Shalimar the Clown in it. To use his words regarding Salman Rushdie's books: ... they are not consistent ... depends on luck, if they happen to see kena la. (For the information of those who don't know, every shipment of books must be accompanied by a packing list.) So the 'restriction' of books depends on who is sitting behind that desk at any point in time, what the person had for breakfast, his 'current' relationship with his wife, parents, in-laws and children and probably, lunar cycles ... amongst others.)

We have managed to get a list of over a hundred from (only) one distributor and we have posted it here for your information, entertainment and outrage. We suspect your reactions will follow a pattern similar to ours. First, laughter. What were they thinking? Some of the titles are really bizarre. Next, sadness. What's wrong with these guys? What's wrong with this country? Then, outrage. Who the hell is this little Napolean, who can barely spell his own name, to tell me what I can and cannot read? And finally: If this is how the KDN operates, how about the other Ministries and Departments? (There are obviously two layers of lawmakers in this country. One: the elected Government and Members of Parliament. Two, a Kafkaesque brigade of barely literates sitting behind desks in various government departments making rules as they like, when they like, as they go along.) Is that a scary thought or what? (Don't be alarmed by the high pitch, whining noise you here at this point. It is a well documented feature of little - and, sometimes, big - Napoleon-dom.)

Guide to using THE LIST: Get a few friends. Type the ISBN number as it appears, into Amazon or Google to get details of the book. Giggle. Try and guess why it has been 'restricted'. (It is more fun if you have your friends around you and your computer, peering over your shoulders and making irreverent comments. Advice: irreverent is good. Try not to get too serious because your sanity is at stake here.) Make a game of it. Count the number of 'restricted' books on the list you and your friends have. No cheating, you must produce the book as evidence. Decide what the winner gets. Then have a party. Read passages from the book, especially those that you think might have offended the little Napoleons. (I know, I know: they can't read. Just pretend, okay?) After you have milked enough fun out of it, adjourn to the nearest mamak shop for some sickly sweet tea, roti canai and outrage.

Note 1: some of you might say, "But I have seen that book in the shops!" You will be absolutely right. They would have been imported directly by air, or they might be old stock. The books on the list have been seized by the KDN staff in Johor Bahru and the distributors have been issued with 'restriction' orders. But the same books may have been legally imported through KLIA for instance. Who is calling George Bush a cowboy?! It is only a matter of degree.

Note 2: The undisputed champion on the list is Salman Rushdie, but you will also find Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Anthony Burgess and Alan Hollinghurst.