Books most abandoned

WRITING: Most Left Behind Books

Why are some books left behind at hotels? Not for lack of space inside the suitcase, I should think, not if you really love the book. But then some, like the BookCrossing people, leave books they like for others to pick up. I will never do that with a book I love. I would rather buy extra copies of books I love to give away to people who would otherwise want to borrow my copy. (I know it does not make sense, but I have a great fear that firstly the book will not come back -- why isn't stealing books a crime punishable by death yet? -- and secondly, if it does get returned it often looks like it just came back from a battlefield -- even if the damage is just a little nick on the cover.) So with all my personal prejudices in place, I'd say that people will only leave books behind if they absolutely hate it, or they are culling, or if they have just acquired a hardback copy (or a first edition). I suffer inconsolably whenever a book of mine leaves home to live with someone else, even for a little while, even if I know she will look after it with extreme care. (Yes, yes, yes, but what about her children with their grubby little hands that were just holding pizza? What if her husband spills coffee? What if, there is a major thunderstorm, and the roof tiles in her house which have not been secured properly come lose, and it leaks, and her house gets flooded, and my book gets wet? Workers are all Indonesians now, you know. What if, what if? It was never easy being a book parent. Now it is getting harder. And no, I am not going to see a doctor about it, thank you very much.)

So it is with a little disdain that I looked at (yes, it is in pictures) this Sky News feature on Books Most Abandoned In Travelodge Inns. Here is the dirt:

• Celebrity books take all the first five spots. The most abandoned book is Meet John Prescott by the former UK Deputy Prime Minister. That is not surprising. We have plenty of Malaysian politicians we would like to forget. Second is comedian Russel Brand's My Booky Wook. Third most left behind book is by another 'political' celebrity, Cherri Blair with Speaking for Myself, about her life from her childhood in working-class Liverpool, to the heart of the British legal system and then, as the wife of the prime minister. Kati Price (Jordan) follows with two books. Why did she even bother? Television host Piers Morgan is next. I guess it is safe to say they all got what they deserved. Leave writing to writers.

• Then comes the surprise. Ian McEvan's On Chesil Beach, which was on last years Booker shortlist, which sold over 100,000 in hardback, is at number six. It is hardly my favourite book, but I will not give my hardback copy away. (It does not say if the books left behind were paperbacks or hardbacks.) What is the problem? Too difficult to read? Boring? Not quite John Grisham? Maybe the next book, also fiction, might give us a clue: Kathy Kelly's Lessons in Heartbreak. From the Amazon.com blurb it sounds like a major tearjerker. Did On Chesil Beach jerk your tears? Not mine, though it did leave me a little dissatisfied. Another work of fiction on the list is Blind Faith by Ben Elton.

• The other two would fall into our 'just add water' classification (if we had such a section). Soak book in 800 mls of water, bring to a simmer on low flame, add sugar (or salt) to taste, allow to cool, and drink a glass before bedtime for a lifetime of warm fuzzy feelings, instant riches, instant health and perfect happiness. Alternatively, admit yourself into the psychiatric ward of the nearest hospital. Number eight: Alvin Hall's You and Your Money -- a personal relationship. Number Ten: Rhonda Byrne's The Secret.

Sky News