A matter of religion

(A censored version of this story appeared in the Malay Mail on Thursday, 27th of  November. Don't ask.)

Macintosh users have always lamented the fact that many software developers routinely release Windows versions of their programmes before they write one for  their systems. Case in point, they are still waiting for a Mac version of Chrome, Google's latest browser. This is, naturally, understandable from the point of view of market forces. Latest survey suggest that the Mac has crept up to a 9.5% market share in the US, but much lower worldwide.

But now www.webmonkey.com, a web developer's resource owned by Wired Digital, laments that no one even wants to write a decent virus for the Mac platform on par with the millions that threaten Windows users daily. According to the blogspot, the latest attempt at creating a virus for the Mac, a trojan, is so lame that the user had to be incredibly stupid for it to work at all. Basically, the computer user will have to visit, what else, a porn site, download a video codec, open it, mount the disk image, and launch the application, which will then proceed to create a 'backdoor' for other malicious ware.

There was a story making the rounds on the internet a few years ago. (This story has been ascribed to several major computer companies, but I am sure they are apocryphal. But it is a good story).

A man contacted customer support saying that he was having trouble with his new computer. So they both went through an 'idiot's' check-list to eliminate the most commonly occurring problems – have you connected this cable to that, have you installed all the components and so on. After a long and arduous process, the customer insisted that there was still no sign of 'life' on the monitor. Finally there was only one thing left: the support guy asked the customer to check if the computer had been plugged in and switched on. The customer said that he was leaning over to see but was having difficulty spotting it because it was quite dark and there was light coming in from only one window in the room. The rest of the conversation apparently went like this:

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too f***** stupid to own a computer." (Type this last sentence onto your browser and you can read the whole story online.)

The computer model is not mentioned, but when it comes to stupidity it does not matter which. The Mac versus PC argument is almost a matter of religion. You have to listen to these guys go at one another. Neither side will concede an inch when debating the superiority of their favourite machines, and operating systems.

I am often caught in the middle for I have used both machines, on a daily basis, for over twenty years. I use Macs at home and PCs in the office, and I don't feel I have betrayed any religious ideal. It's like owning a relatively expensive, moderately luxurious sedan for home and leisure use, and a cheaper, hardy pick-up or four-wheel-drive at work. What's wrong with that? My religious beliefs lean, decidedly, towards the Mac, I will admit, but that does not mean I should not acknowledge the superiority of PC for certain tasks, just like that of a utility vehicle over dirt tracks or on construction sites. Yes, PCs have viruses (millions of them), they leak memory, their hard disks get fragmented and they can be a pain, but they cost less and some programmes will not run on Macs.

So what can I say to those whose Mac religion forbids them from using PCs or vice versa? Sorry, that's your loss.